What is the WORST experience you have had... [Archive] - Career Advice and Job Search Tips

Parklane64

07-08-2005, 04:51 PM

I helped open a local office for a National Rent-A-Car chain inside a local Hotel lobby. The gentleman from corporate was staying at the Hotel while helping us get up and running. Unbeknownst to him one of the married ladies we hired was coming to work early and going up to the room of two men :eek: that were in town for business for a week(then two). The rumor among the Hotel staff was that she was going up to his room before work. When he heard that he had a wake-up call for as soon as she came in the door. She would go up on one elevator and he would come down in the other elevator in his bathrobe and conspicuously partake of the continental breakfast. The Hotel tongues really wagged then.

ntbgirl

07-08-2005, 06:40 PM

Spill Damon!

I worked at a "man dominated " store (you can figure it out) and dated an employee.

That didn't last long and as a result, he no longer felt comfortable and left my employ.

Woops!

simplydamon

07-09-2005, 02:51 AM

Do you REALLY want to hear my stories? :eek: They are not for the faint of heart. Let's just say that I've had disgruntled husbands visit my office at least once :D

kangabitt

07-09-2005, 12:18 PM

Well I can certainly understand why! :)

http://kangabitt.com/eb/damon billian.jpg

Tell Tell Tell. :)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-09-2005, 01:17 PM

Damon, the guys are just as bad if not worse. When I was single and working and travelling often, it seemed as though every business trip was another excuse to hear the next chapter in the "My Wife Doesn't Understand Me" saga. I enjoy a glass of nice wine and a nice dinner out, but after that, hey bub, separate hotel rooms, separate floors, separate elevators. Get OFF me and go to your room! Down boy!

simplydamon

07-09-2005, 04:29 PM

"They are not for the faint of heart. Let's just say that I've had disgruntled husbands visit my office at least once "

This, fortunately, did NOT happen at PayPal. I was a reasonably good person during my tenure there

kangabitt

07-09-2005, 08:32 PM

We don't need to hear the "not's."

We're greedy for good gossip :)

Tell Tell Tell :)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-09-2005, 08:42 PM

This, fortunately, did NOT happen at PayPal. I was a reasonably good person during my tenure there

LOL LOL LOL

;)

scifi4me2004

07-11-2005, 08:44 PM

Relationships tend to start very fast in the healthcare field. Nearly every relationship I have had, began there.

I have always been the no drama type gal. I never liked confrontations, jealous rages or possessiveness. I tend to attract alpha males, sometimes more than one at a time. Years ago I was in a position of authority and my SO was quite a bit farther down the ladder. He was not doing well at his job and was considered a risk for the company. The director met with me concerning this person, knowing full well we were cohabitating. The director requested my evaluation of the situation and expected my consideration to match hers-termination.

This would mean so many things for us and most not good. For me personally it would mean seeing my SO hurt, rejected and without a job. Financially it meant less income for our life together.

I had been with this company 4 yrs, while he had been there just under 6 mths. Bottom line he wasn't doing a good job. And I agreed with the director and he was terminated. The very worst part of this entire situation was that he really liked his job and wanted to still keep in touch with the clients. This meant stopping in regularly , which the director immediately put an end to. This started fights at home, as he expected me to take a stand with my employer. I refused to take a stand because I actually agreed with the principal to not let terminated staff return to meet with clients. He refused to understand where I was coming from. Relationship ended.

He ended up in a field not associated with healthcare and I continued on for another 10 yrs :)

freekyfrawg

07-11-2005, 09:02 PM

Hi Damon! [waving wildly from the ALB]

This is gruesome, I am actually embarrassed that I ever went through this. Such a bad girl was I.

I was dating a married guy in the late 80's at work, he was my partner in customer service (call him "Dave"). While dating him, I was also seeing another guy who worked in the same department (call him "Bob"). I stopped seeing the 2nd (Bob) guy, but while still with the first (Dave) I started dating the President of the company's son (call him "Jim").

It got pretty messy. Bob found out about Dave, and out of revenge because I was the one who "dumped" him, he ratted us out to the Operations Manager, and Dave got fired. Well, when Bob then found out about Jim, he snapped, and made every effort into getting me fired as well. And it worked.

Well, let me tell yoiu, that was the last time I "played the field" in my own backyard :mad:

I'm with NTB...Damon, yes, we WANT to know, spill! I told you my story, and it's only fair :(

simplydamon

07-11-2005, 10:44 PM

This story isn't that bad...I think.

1. I was a relatively new manager at a company.

2. A friendship developed between a person that was not management (not on my team).

3. The person was a person that I cared for a great deal. She was, however, apparently having issues with her marriage at that time.

4. She dropped a note on my desk one day stating: "I could fall in love with you if I let myself".

5. I didn't know what to do. However, I do believe that you never know if that person could be "the one". I decided to respond to the letter.

6. Our friendship deepened over the months.I did state that I wouldn't do anything "physical" unless the marriage issues were straightened out.

7. I told a friend of mine about this that also apparently liked her. He wrote a letter to her now. As you can imagine...I was quite po'd at my friend for interfering in the whole situation.

8. Her husband found the letter from him that also contained information about my interest in her.

9. Her husband drove to the office & wanted to kick both of our behinds (the other guy and me).

10. The husband was eventually taken away by police (if memory serves correct).

11. The girl and I started dating shortly after this incident ;our relationship didn't last long for a wide variety of reasons.

12. Working in the office was unbearable because I still liked her a great deal. And she did go through phases where she apparently liked me again.

13. I ended up leaving the job 5 months later because I felt the old relationship issues were affecting us both. As I didn't have as many responsibilities as she did, I felt that I had a moral obligation to leave.

(This is a relatively tame version of the story. I had other indiscretions, not with subordinates, at this place as well. I've mostly learned my lesson about not crapping where you eat).

freekyfrawg

07-12-2005, 07:52 AM

That must have been devastating nonetheless, Damon.

scifi - LOL, looks like you got the last laugh, in spite of his frustration that you "didn't stick up for him". What a crybaby, as if you'd risk both of you being jobless just for his ego - duh...

This is an interesting thread, almost therapeutic ;)

simplydamon

07-12-2005, 02:49 PM

Devastating...yes. Learning experience? Most certainly. Have I made other mistakes? Yes....mistakes are learning experiences....just have to keep on making them to eventually reach Nirvana (not the band).

simplydamon

07-12-2005, 03:38 PM

I have one other experience from that same job that could have been a true nightmare. I will post it upon request.

Note: Please take note of the fact that I am not referencing any party by name. A story is just as good without providing full details (name of person and/or company) because you can always change the names in any story - you just can't change a story to fit names (if that makes sense).

George

07-12-2005, 05:43 PM

Hi Damon,

Here is my formal request for the your story that could have been a true nightmare. :D

freekyfrawg

07-12-2005, 06:14 PM

Hi Damon, I second that motion ;)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-12-2005, 09:02 PM

We want to hear!

I thought I posted a story on this thread last night. I either must have posted it somewhere else or it got deleted (is there such a thing as a "pink slap" on this site?) for some reason?

simplydamon

07-12-2005, 10:30 PM

Hmmm...haven't deleted any of your posts. I had to delete one from a guy that posted too much information (name,company name,etc.) in a post.

ok...here's the skinny on a nightmare....

1. Dated a girl in the office (not a subordinate).
2. Had...err...intimate relations.
3. Her supervisor asked me to review her work (we had multiple supervisors in the office that would rotate into other teams for review).
4. She didn't do her job.
5. I pulled her aside and wrote her up.
6. She asked my: "Why are you doing this?". She seemed to think that I would let our relationship affect how I had to do my job (explained to her).

You wouldn't imagine how I thought my job was gone ( it would have been easy for her to accuse me of doing something wrong). Luckily...she was a good enough person to realize that I was doing my job & doing my job wasn't a personal attack on her.

simplydamon

07-12-2005, 10:30 PM

I think it is time for someone else to:)

kd5145

07-13-2005, 03:31 AM

I have never had the pleasure of dating someone I work with, as much as I have entertained the idea.

That is what I am afraid of though, that someone would think that just because I am dating them that they are immune to company policy and doing their job.

George

07-13-2005, 05:38 AM

No beans to spill hehe...hehe. The jobs field I worked doesn't consist of many females.

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-13-2005, 10:40 AM

I have some interesting workplace dating stories, but the story of how I met my husband is somewhat workplace related and pretty funny. This is the one I thought you might have deleted Damon. My apologies if I posted it somewhere else.

I met my husband when he came in for an interview. I was part of a team of interviewers since I would have been one of his dotted line supervisors.

I was also the only dissenting vote regarding hiring him. I didn't think he had the right qualifications, though he seemed like a nice enough guy.

So HR delivered the bad news. A few days later, my phone rang and he asked me if I'd have lunch or coffee, so we could do a "post mortem" on the interview process and he could figure out what he was doing wrong and therefore improve his chances of landing a job on his next interview somewhere else.

I fell for that one. He actually had already received and accepted another job offer when he made that phone call. He just wanted to take me out.

We will be married 17 years in October.

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-13-2005, 10:41 AM

You're lucky the woman you wrote the mediocre (or was it just downright bad) review for, didn't think you were evaluating err. something other than her work skills? ;) Sounds like you dodged a bullet because she took it pretty well.

George

07-13-2005, 11:47 AM

what can you mean...LOL. :D

You're lucky the woman you wrote the mediocre (or was it just downright bad) review for, didn't think you were evaluating err. something other than her work skills? ;) Sounds like you dodged a bullet because she took it pretty well.

simplydamon

07-13-2005, 12:51 PM

Yes, I was very fortunate. If there is one really bad thing that I would say about me...I would say that I typically like to play with fire. I guess it is another problem-solving excercise:)

I believe that is kind of a tough area to be in because dating=personal decision. Some would argue that an employer has no right to say who you can/can't date. Personal experience, as well as many expert opinions, do point to the fact that you should avoid it if possible. A company primarily has a concern with possible lawsuits and/or harassment claims.

If someone DID have to do it:
(Personal opinion)
1. Should be on the same level to prevent power issues.
2. Should work in another department (or building!).

kd5145

07-13-2005, 02:02 PM

Maybe instead of fire player you should say....risk taker. Some of the best buisness people are considered risk takers ;)

Andiland

07-13-2005, 02:05 PM

One place I worked had an office "good time girl" who dated her way down the row of cubicles (just the guys, thank heavens) and finally one of them left his wife and two little kids to go live with her. He divorced and they married. It was very difficult for some of us because we had met his wife (she had worked for the company before I came there and that was where she had met him), she worked at another company we had dealings with and we still saw her, and she was a nice woman.
When he left for another job and she followed shortly after we were all relieved. Guess who he's cheating on now?

I wholeheartedly agree (to quote Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck) that you shouldn't $h*t where you eat.

simplydamon

07-13-2005, 02:20 PM

"Maybe instead of fire player you should say....risk taker. Some of the best buisness people are considered risk takers"

Perhaps that is how I can "spin" it with future employers :D

Working from home seems to help with avoiding those issues :D

Andiland

07-13-2005, 02:22 PM

You can always say you like new challenges! :p

kd5145

07-13-2005, 03:19 PM

Sometimes creative thinking is all you need. ;)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-13-2005, 07:40 PM

Considering how many hours we spend at work in this day and age, it's no surprise that singles hook up, marrieds cheat and sometimes people get hurt. But that age old question when I was single and working my way up the corporate ladder: Where *do* you meet people if not through work? Hanging out in bars hoping for a pick up was NOT my style. Meeting a guy at the gym just seemed a little too "Hollywood" to me. I wasn't particularly religious at that point in my life, so church groups were out.

Usually the guys I dated were either people I met through friends (and many my friends had work connections to me. If they didn't work for the same company, then they worked for a vendor, a customer, etc.), or people in the same office or a different office of the same company, or like my friends, a supplier, vendor or customer.

Thankfully, most of the guys I dated were single. I did find myself involved with a married guy from the same company. That was sticky. Luckily he lived on one side of the Rockies and I lived on the other, so it wasn't a local relationship. But I really felt like a homewrecker, even though I knew he wasn't going to leave his wife for me. And I didn't want him to do that either. What was tough was trying to avoid suspicion by not travelling together more than necessary and being VERY careful at conventions and other company functions.

The stress of it finally got to me and I broke it off.

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-13-2005, 07:45 PM

A very good friend of mine was asked to train one of her new counterparts from a different city. Well, they really hit it off that first trip together and became an item almost from day one. The one hitch was that he was married. She went through a few years of agony waiting for him to leave his wife. We all told her that if he's cheating on his wife, then he'll for sure cheat on her.

He did wind up leaving his wife and marrying my friend. Fifteen years later, so far so good. He seems faithful and they seem happy. Of course she is and always has been drop dead gorgeous so maybe that helps too. ;)

simplydamon

07-13-2005, 09:12 PM

I shouldn't, of course, display my dirty laundry in a public forum;) I guess it is too late for that! I don't want people to think I am a "serial dater" :eek:

simplydamon

07-13-2005, 09:14 PM

"I did find myself involved with a married guy from the same company. That was sticky. Luckily he lived on one side of the Rockies and I lived on the other, so it wasn't a local relationship. But I really felt like a homewrecker, even though I knew he wasn't going to leave his wife for me. And I didn't want him to do that either. What was tough was trying to avoid suspicion by not travelling together more than necessary and being VERY careful at conventions and other company functions."

I think married people that people get involved with are the worst possible situation to be in, regardless of whether you work together or not. Too many thoughts run through the mind about the intentions of the party (this would be a long list).

kd5145

07-14-2005, 03:03 AM

:) The cats out of the bag. Everybody knows now. ;)

simplydamon

07-15-2005, 05:07 PM

Believe it or not, I just remembered another story from this workplace (it has been many years now - so I hope future employers don't take this as being my current behavior).

*We had an IM system in the office that we could use for business (as is often the case, many people also used it for personal reasons as well).

*The girl I was dating at the time was having a hard time with personal issues.

* I decided to IM her and say something nice.

* I said " One day the world will realize how beautiful you are." (something along those lines).

* I hit send.

* I got a response back two seconds later saying "What?".

* Little did I know that I sent the IM to a union official, one that reported to me on my team :eek:

*As you can imagine, I had to do come up with an interesting explanation for my email to the union person:)

*No harm came out of this because I had a good rapport with the union person (because I treated the employees in the office well).

It seems like all large companies probably have stories like this. The particular office I worked in was not that much different than what you would find in a soap opera (affairs, rumors of infidelity, people with marriage problems, drug and alcohol problems,etc.)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-15-2005, 05:39 PM

What if you were dating TWO people from the office and you IM'd one with a message that went into detail about your last romantic evening. Except it was a romantic evening with the OTHER person.

The new millenium equivalent of calling out the wrong person's name at a bad time. :eek:

George

07-15-2005, 05:42 PM

This is like sending a email to the wrong address.

What if you were dating TWO people from the office and you IM'd one with a message that went into detail about your last romantic evening. Except it was a romantic evening with the OTHER person.

The new millenium equivalent of calling out the wrong person's name at a bad time. :eek:

simplydamon

07-15-2005, 10:17 PM

I've actually had one experience that was much more uncomfortable than what you mentioned. I had to go to dinner where, errr, there were three women that I had relationships with present. I was in dread for the whole dinner.

Again, this is from my younger & wilder days. I am much wiser now ;)

kd5145

07-16-2005, 05:41 AM

Oh yea, no serial dater there. :p

simplydamon

07-16-2005, 10:07 AM

:D Believe it or not, I didn't date anyone between 1999-2003. PayPal was my girlfriend then :D

kd5145

07-16-2005, 11:24 AM

They had you working to hard. :)

simplydamon

07-16-2005, 12:15 PM

I think it had to do with locking me in the closet;)

kd5145

07-16-2005, 01:18 PM

Oh no, lack of oxygen. :)

Parklane64

07-16-2005, 01:32 PM

Again, this is from my younger & wilder days. I am much wiser now ;)

Yeah, me too. ;)

Safe workplace 'dating' (http://forum.simplyhired.com/showthread.php?t=53)

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-16-2005, 10:24 PM

:D Believe it or not, I didn't date anyone between 1999-2003. PayPal was my girlfriend then :D

Wow, no wonder you left. :D Considering all the heat you took in that job, I'm surprised you weren't afraid for your life every time you went out in public.

lifesab-andthenyoudie

07-16-2005, 10:25 PM

Is that really your office on the cover of that magazine? It looks so...........

..........sparse.

simplydamon

07-17-2005, 06:31 PM

Yes, that was my cubicle. It was sparse because we had just moved over from our old offices while I was on vacation.

Generally speaking...I do keep my cubicle relatively clean. Most of the work I do is online & I don't generate tons of paperwork. I truly try to stay mostly digital... :)

simplydamon

07-17-2005, 10:07 PM

"Wow, no wonder you left. Considering all the heat you took in that job, I'm surprised you weren't afraid for your life every time you went out in public."

To be honest, much of that heat was only stuff you would see in forums. Forums, for better or worse, can tend to have a somewhat negative vibe to them (think of all the customers out there that don't care to post positively about any company).

Customers that have met me in person were much nicer. eBay Live! was a great experience to me because many people would come up and tell me how much they respected me.

ntbgirl

07-26-2005, 01:23 PM

Ok, this is a good one.

I have worked at my present company 5 years. For a 9 month period I took a different job at another company to get away for a while and destress.

When i got back, some of the project people i worked with were different so i had to go around and introduce myself.

Now, I have multi colored hair. Sometimes its pink and blue or purple and whatever. Im in sales, i mix it up. BUt im always professional.

I also wear a lot of skirts and boots. Seems men customers tend to sign the dotted line more when im wearing skirts and boots

Anyway i meet one of the new project people and we have to work on this huge project together. He tells me hes married with two small kids and hes in a band. I tell him im engaged to be married (im wearing my ring hello)

He then decides a month later to leave the company... upon leaving he sends me an email telling me basically he wants to ... me and that i must want it too since i was nice to h im and wear skirts and boots.

I told him to Pound sand. So then he comes to the office to get something he left behind... at a desk i was using. I went to give the item to him(with people around me) he had come to see me with HIS KIDS in the CAR

Now that is bizzarre! Like Id ever cheat anyway. dork. LOL

Damon at least you didnt do that!

simplydamon

07-26-2005, 03:26 PM

"Damon at least you didnt do that!"

Well...at least not that I remember:)

"upon leaving he sends me an email telling me basically he wants to ... me"

Now that is scary & not very nice.

ntbgirl

07-29-2005, 01:38 PM

He was a twirp damon! I coulda took him! LOL~

Wysiwyg101

08-08-2005, 07:13 PM

I work as a free-lance Audio Visual tech in the DFW area (if you have ever been to a conference or a seminar, you have seen the type of equipment we work with). Anyways, one of the local AV companies hired a gal I knew to be one of their full-time techs. We always got along pretty well. I was married, she wasn't and I had no intention whatsoever of doing ANYTHING at all with her other than friendship.

One day a mutual friend told me that he had to tell me something. He said that she had told him that she heard I was spreading rumors that she and I had threesomes with another guy and that it involved peanut butter and honey. I just looked at him with a blank look on my face waiting for the punch line. It never came. He was serious. She really said that. And I had no less than three other people call me that day asking about it. I tried getting ahold of her to talk about it, but she never returned my phone messages or emails. I finally gave up.

Oh well. If she had but asked me I would have told her that someone was messing with her. I actually had an opportunity to hire her as a free-lance AV tech several years later and got more particulars about it, but it was all water under the bridge. Of course, what happened during that last meeting would be another story why I fired her from that job.

stormbringer_north2000

08-14-2005, 08:27 AM

Back in my broadcasting days, I used to see lots of crap go on. When I was single, I dated a couple of co-workers, but never anyone that was married. In small markets, many of the sales reps seemed to be having sex with clients. Many were pretty open about it (e.g. "guess I'll have to get under his desk to get the annual contract" and so on).
The saddest thing I witnessed was a secretary that slept with senior managers because she thought it would bring her power and get her out of a stale live-in relationship. She also would act out in front of other employees, rubbing her current beau's shoulders, literally laying on his desk, kneeling directly in front of him. Frankly, it was quite humorous because she was pretty but has a disproportionately large butt (hence her knickname "Miss Buttock"-she was very mad when we started running ads for "Big A" auto parts). After 12 years of this, she was downsized, and after an emotional scene left. All I could think was , what a waste. At work, finding someone you really care for and someone that you can get down with in the copy room are two different things. Make sure you know which is which!

granddream

09-04-2005, 01:42 PM

Damon...

Holy cow, you went to a dinner and THREE ex's were there? You must be fishing from a very small pond. :p

simplydamon

09-04-2005, 01:52 PM

"Holy cow, you went to a dinner and THREE ex's were there? You must be fishing from a very small pond."

No...I was just being an idiot to begin with (three people at the same office). The dinner location was actually right next to our office...

hyena8

09-04-2005, 02:00 PM

Damon is an officer and a gentleman..... :p

simplydamon

09-04-2005, 02:11 PM

Most certainly not a gentleman:) I have a ton of very, very bad qualities:)

hyena8

09-04-2005, 02:28 PM

A cutie like you with bad qualties???

simplydamon

09-04-2005, 02:54 PM

Being moderately cute doesn't mean that I don't have a ton of bad qualities:)

A short list:
1. I probably used to party too much.

2. I am a terrible flirt. I am fortunate that my current GF understands this & knows that flirting doesn't equate to cheating on someone. I just happen to like talking to women (find them much more interesting than men - even though I have a lot of guy friends as well).

3. I can be a flake.

4. I can be a rather difficult employee.

5. I don't always exhibit the social grace that I should.

One thing that has always bothered me, however, is that many people at all of the companies I've worked at think that I am constantly dating. As I've said before, I was largely single for many years and went on about 3-4 dates during that period.

kd5145

09-05-2005, 06:58 PM

Three women from the same office AND dinner right next to the office. Have to spread the love out a little bit. :)

hyena8

09-05-2005, 07:10 PM

simplydamon

09-05-2005, 08:34 PM

"All things I can overlook...."

A LOT easier said than done:)

Hi kd5145,
"Three women from the same office AND dinner right next to the office. Have to spread the love out a little bit."

I've pretty much learned that one;)

kd5145

09-05-2005, 09:14 PM

Bet it was a good story for the girlfriends to bring home to their friends. :)

simplydamon

09-06-2005, 10:47 PM

I am sure that they have some rather not nice things to say about me:)

kd5145

09-07-2005, 06:42 PM

Hey, it happens. :)

I wonder what some of my ex's would say about me. Everything in life isn't perfect.

George

09-08-2005, 08:28 AM

What, life's not perfect...say it isn't so..

so true

kd5145

09-08-2005, 03:47 PM

George,
You better sit down. I hate to be the one to burst your bubble. Life is not perfect. :D

Everythingismyfault

09-16-2005, 11:24 PM

Its always the same story for me. I am the new guy or some one is the new girl at the office. Its new its fresh its a challange I must investigate or be investigated. Then while dating its fun and exciting. Then you have sex and its great for a while the job is good and then the sex wears off and reality sets in. You have no escape time because she is there all the time at work after work etc. Then you start hating coming to work because she is there and all you want is some time to yourself. Then you brake up with her and the job sucks. You start not looking around afraid she is looking and all the girls think your scum for dumping her. If your the new guy at work its even harder cause then your super scum. The pressure is mounting and then you just say f ck it and quit or get fired for telling them all to suck it.

This has been a public service anouncement why not to date at work thank you for your time :rolleyes:

Lamb

09-21-2005, 10:13 PM

POOR NTB!! I'm sorry a twerp bothered you...
LOL @ your skirts / boots / signing on the bottom line.

I don't think this counts though!
Everytime I'd arrive to work, I would see this guy run out of his building across the way from ours, and he would wave hello. I'd wave, ususally running late, and get inside. Soon, my boss said, "hey why is that guy always staring over here?" We could see him through the glass looking into our bldg.

Anyway, end result, he asked me out, and we got married...well 5 years later.
Now divorced.

It is just so easy, (imo), to meet people through work. They see you everyday, they see you at your best. In your business attire, in a professional setting, etc. Also, I think it is so much easier to get to know someone in this setting. You really get to see what kind of person they are, how they treat others', you see how they work. Hard to explain what I'm thinking, but, I just know that I disliked one man. But after spending 40+ hours a week with an office next to him, I guess it is human nature, you find out their good qualities, ah I'm going on too much.. ;-)

Skipjim

09-22-2005, 06:51 PM

I had a job once where one of the managers (not mine) kept setting me up with her daughters.

The problem wasn't so much dating at work as much as it was breaking up with them afterwards.

One quit.
One got me in trouble (it's hard being the only guy in an office with about 9-10 women).

You'd think I'd have learned at this point but I decided to press my luck and go out with one more girl I worked with against my better judgement. And she did the worst possible thing she could have done. She married me six years ago. :)

missdima

10-10-2005, 09:05 PM

When I first started my job as an assistant, I noticed a relative young, handsome, male co-worker. I had a boyfriend and would never cheat on him. But I am friendly so I asked the co-worker out for happy hour. He always said yes when his girlfriend could go, which I understood, but his tone made it a little weird. Through the grapevines, I find out that his girlfriend used to have my position. When they met at work, they were both attached (he was engaged). So the reason why he couldn't go out with me alone is because she'll always be suspicious. And at the job, we do spend a lot of time together. From our talks, I don't think he deserves any trust.

Has anyone had success with dating a co-worker or being with someone that they've cheated with?

buffygirl

10-10-2005, 10:35 PM

unfortunately :confused: i have never had an office relationship/romance so i'm afraid i cannot contribute anything juicy to this post :o

but i have always thought it was best to not mix romance and work. and i guess i've always had a boyfriend so it has never been an issue

buffygirl

10-10-2005, 10:38 PM

hyena8

10-11-2005, 02:19 AM

AT work, there is a lady in my department who's husband also works for the same company. She is on the third floor and he works in the mail room in the basement. They have a great working relationship. They only see each other a couple times of day but are seperated most of the time.

Kane

10-11-2005, 10:14 AM

You have no escape time because she is there all the time at work after work etc. Then you start hating coming to work because she is there and all you want is some time to yourself.

this is pretty much sums up what i think would happen if i ever dated someone from work. why would you want to be with your significant other 8 hours a day at work, and then see them after work or even worse come home to them? that is really not healthy. everyone needs space.

Maybe I'm the weird one, but I simply cannot see why this is such a problem. I can understand and respect a desire for some space and some time to yourself now and then. I cannot, however, understand why pretty much everybody seems to feel so strongly about it. People make it seem like they'd hate their significant other if they saw them too much. Saw them TOO MUCH. I really don't think TOO MUCH should ever be a phrase used when talking about your lover.

For those of you with that kind of attitude, (where you think being with your lover ALL the time would be torture) I want to ask, what do you expect to do when you get married? Well, okay, so usually you wouldn't see each other at work, but still... You are together basically all the time when you get married to somebody. I just cannot understand this attitude. My girlfriend and I are so very much in love, and it is torture for us to ever be apart, not torture for us to be around each other so much.

Neither of us wants to be away from the other. Isn't that how it should be when you find the love of your life? As far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't be dating somebody unless you think there is at least some chance that they will end up being the one. Otherwise, why date? But, I guess I am weird, especially considering I am a STRAIGHT MALE. Oh well. I guess I'll let you all be so long as you agree to let me be. I am happy with my love life the way it is. If the same can be said for you folks when you find that ideal blend of time with your mate and time alone that you seem to love, then more power to you. :)

Edit : Oh, I forgot to mention that my girlfriend does NOT work at my place. It isn't a workplace relationship, I was just adding in my two cents about love in general.

simplydamon

10-11-2005, 11:06 AM

"this is pretty much sums up what i think would happen if i ever dated someone from work. why would you want to be with your significant other 8 hours a day at work, and then see them after work or even worse come home to them? that is really not healthy. everyone needs space."

I actually agree with buffygirl on this one. I once dated someone that sat two seats down from me at work & lived with them as well. I feel that we got into more arguments because of the working/living arrangements & not getting just a few minutes of free time to ourselves on a daily basis.

Kane

10-11-2005, 11:21 AM

I actually agree with buffygirl on this one. I once dated someone that sat two seats down from me at work & lived with them as well. I feel that we got into more arguments because of the working/living arrangements & not getting just a few minutes of free time to ourselves on a daily basis.

I hear you, and I respect your opinion. I just simply cannot understand how that seems to be EVERYBODY'S attitude about the situation. I mean, you summed up one of my points when you said you "once dated someone that sat..." I would take this to mean that you don't date them anymore. They must not have been your "holy grail of a mate." (I love that phrase, used by a fellow poster in a thread in the Simply Fired board.) Maybe that is why the situation raised problems. Of course, even with those who find their holy grail of a mate, I could understand them wanting a little self time sometimes. I just cannot understand the attitude that it was be hellacious torture to be with them ALL the time, or the fact that it seem to be virtually EVERYBODY'S opinion. Wow! I guess my girlfriend and I really are a great match!

simplydamon

10-11-2005, 11:35 AM

Kane

10-11-2005, 12:31 PM

I actually think it largely depends on personal preference. I personally enjoy time to myself - even if I am dating someone that I care for deeply. Most people I know feel this way as well, as people tend to need time to themselves to remember who they are (being in a relationship doesn't mean you lose your sense of self).

Yeah, I get what you mean. Still, I am the kind of person who DID enjoy time to myself until I found my angel. Now, I consider my time to "myself" to be time with her. I feel like a piece of me is missing when I'm not with her. I mean, I don't mean to say that I am desperate and depressed any time we are not together (nor is that the case with her). That would be an unhealthy obsession. It's just that I'd rather be with her.

I guess the main difference is that there is nothing I like to do on my own that I cannot do unless I get time without her, so I'm not losing anything by being with her whenever possible. I could see how it could be annoying if there are a lot of things you want to and like to do that you don't get to do with them around.

buffygirl

10-11-2005, 12:52 PM

Kane

10-11-2005, 01:01 PM

You may or may not work closely with them at the same place, but there is still the gossip mill in the office. Everyone's always so nosy... are you guys fighting, when are you getting married, etc. Friend of mine at work got their significant other a job but they worked in different departments and barely saw eachother. But everyone was always in their business.

That would drive me nuts!

Yeah, that's a good point. I agree with you there. That would not be cool, but I would not be surprised if that were to happen in the work place. People like gossip. Some folks can get pretty immature with it.

hyena8

10-11-2005, 03:06 PM

Kane

10-12-2005, 06:17 AM

Wow. Sounds like you have met some really loser guys. It isn't anything like that if you find the right person. Well, I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. I hope it brings you great happiness either way. Sounds like you have had an unfairly large share of BS in your day. Let me apologize on behalf of my gender for most of us being complete pigs and morons. I promise you that not all of us are like that.

George

10-12-2005, 09:14 AM

Not all of us but the majority of us.

simplydamon

10-12-2005, 11:37 AM

"Let me apologize on behalf of my gender for most of us being complete pigs and morons."

Perhaps men will realize that women are actually smarter than us one day?

brianm

10-12-2005, 12:00 PM

Thank the good lord I am single and will be up until the day I die. Marriage is a trap where you slowly strangle to death. I would rather be single where I can do what I want without some idiot telling me what to do all the time.

:D :) :p

Single people rejoice!!!

i used to feel exactly how you do 'till i found my one and only...it isn't always that way my friend...
i was happy single to i'm just alot happier now. :)
to each his/her own.lol

Kane

10-12-2005, 12:17 PM

"Let me apologize on behalf of my gender for most of us being complete pigs and morons."

Perhaps men will realize that women are actually smarter than us one day?

LOL! Somehow, I really doubt that. :p Besides, pride would never allow any of us men to admit it because it would make us look "unmacho." At least, that is what I imagine would be the case with most of my fellow men.

i used to feel exactly how you do 'till i found my one and only...it isn't always that way my friend...
i was happy single to i'm just alot happier now.
to each his/her own.lol

Exactly how I feel. I used to have a saying: "There is somebody out there for everybody.... but me." My girlfriend proved me wrong, and reminded me what happiness felt like.

brianm

10-12-2005, 12:37 PM

i used to say, "that if two people love each other they will stay together, if they don't they wont, why get married".lol :)

Kane

10-12-2005, 12:51 PM

i used to say, "that if two people love each other they will stay together, if they don't they wont, why get married".lol :)

You know, to a strong degree, I agree with that. I've always kind of felt that marriage was nothing more than a ceremony to cement and prove your undying love for each other. So, I never felt it was mandatory because I never felt I would need it to prove my love if I were ever lucky enough to find the right one. That being said, I still wanted to get married at some point, I just was in no rush because I think people take it too lightly these days and you don't truly NEED it when you are truly in love.

So, now that I've found my holy grail of a mate (I REALLY love that phrase now) we are in no rush to get married, though we pretty much know it is inevitable. We are just very sensible about it. We want to wait until a time when it is more appropriate financially, situationally, etc. We don't NEED it to prove our love, so why rush into it? I think the problem these days is that too many people rush into it only to find out that the other person was not their true soulmate. Or worse, they rush into it and ruin what could have been their true love.

hyena8

10-12-2005, 03:15 PM

No one telling what to do and when to do it. No screaming fights over money. No screaming fights because I am hungry and I am not allowed to eat. No more 'where are you going and when are you coming back'. No more fights when I am sick. No more fights over the wrong attitude. NO more fights over wanting a dryer. No more fights because I am being abused.

No one is going to tell me what to do ever again!!! :mad:

brianm

10-12-2005, 03:25 PM